| DOOM AND DEATH?!?! |
[Dec. 4th, 2009|10:58 am] |
Well, not really. In actuality, I somehow managed to manage my time so well that I hardly have anything to do. Study for a Japanese exam. Study for a design exam. Finish a design project, finish an illustration project. That's it. And those projects are half or well over half finished anyway.
I'm sad that I still have to endure a whole 4 more days of work though. Slight crying.
So...winter break. Think I'm gonna relax, and work on cosplay. Hopefully get everything of Nicole's ready to sew before she leaves. I wanna get Azula finished and most of Aurora's dress finished before the end of break. With three weeks of no work or school I don't find that unreasonable, especially since I have no plans other than Christmas eve and Christmas. I'm getting kind of excited about sleeping, though. 9am class again next quarter. 18 credits. Three work shifts. Gonna be so...so...busy.
Once again I'm questioning what I want to do after school. I don't think I want to get a Masters, but I also don't feel like I'll be getting a job anywhere. I picked a field that doesn't guarantee jobs to anyone, and that I honestly do not have a whole lot of talent with. Ideally, I keep feeling like I just want to be a seamstress or something. I constantly wonder if I picked the wrong school and the wrong major. I don't regret coming here, I am just worried about my future I guess. Leaving Bellingham in less than two years and going...well...somewhere with absolutely no money and lots of debt and not a good outlook on the job market and not possessing outstanding skills in my field is a little discouraging. I definitely feel like I should work hard and forgo vacations and too much spending to look out for myself, though. Probably no vacation this summer. Oh well. |
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| Ladeedah |
[Nov. 28th, 2009|05:52 pm] |
Our house is insanely cold. Got in and turned the heat on and like two hours later my face is still frozen.
I don't want to do homework at all, not really motivated to do anything. Not actually even motivated to make this LJ post, really. I don't really have anything to say.
I got a digital camera! Finally!
That is all. |
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| Holidays? Again?! |
[Nov. 22nd, 2009|02:30 pm] |
Only two days of school and one day of work next week til the long and glorious weekend of thanksgiving break. Five fun filled days of sit around. Whooo!
I think on Wednesday I'll sew all day and maybe draw some. Do my mass amounts of homework. Family will get here late, and then Thursday will be eating and being awesome. I'll end up at Jessica's house and then go for shopping joy with her Friday. Dunno about the rest of the weekend, hoping to relax and get some stuff done.
Then it's dead week! I've got a project due in one class, and I think two tests and an speech in Japanese. During finals week it's just one project for each design class, one exam in one design class, and a Japanese final. Then I can't believe Christmas break is already here! I hope to do a lot of sewing at the beginning, so I can get Nicole's dress underway before she leaves ;_;. I really wanted to do a lot of cosplay sewing over the break but it's gonna be seriously difficult if I'm the only one here!
It hasn't started snowing yet and it doesn't seem like it will, which I consider kind of a bummer. I would love it to snow winter break. It would be yay!
Next quarter I'm taking a tonload of classes. Five, I think. (I think two of them count as one class or something though) but also still working my three shifts at the dining hall. I'm...going to die. |
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| Aki con, school, and beyond! |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|04:42 pm] |
My D key has got something stuck under it, or it's BROKE.
Aki con was really fun, though there were times that I was quite bored. It reminded me very much of my first KumoriCon where I met Sara, only there were so many more people to meet there. It might be because my group just doesn't meet people anymore I feel like. I wonder why that is?
We actually went to a few panels. The photography one was decent, but they went over too much actual photography stuff and not enough 'photography for cosplay' stuff. Not enough 'this is what the MODEL needs to be doing' stuff either. And it was severely annoying because the panelist had to stop every thirty seconds for a comment from the peanut gallery/aka his support group who took up half the room. >.> The other panel we went too was pretty cool because no one came, and so we just talked to the panelist about random cosplay stuff the whole time.
The cosplay contest was cute. Had we known that the prize was $500 and that the presentations were all going to be pretty shoddy, probably would have entered. It was still entertaining. I mostly just liked seeing everyone and spending time with them as well as taking pictures and stuff.
Crunch time to winter break is coming. I've got a test, an Exam, and a project due tomorrow. Birthday party on Saturday, project due Monday, then Thanksgiving week, working all this time and our fridge/freezer is kinda brokenish. I need to start making our Princess dresses and Azula soon, too. So much to do and I'm getting really tired. I dunno if more sleep will even help that ^^;;
Also feeling really discouraged about losing weight, because I feel like I have no time to watch what I'm eating. Days keep going by that I don't care because I'm too busy, and my body is too tired to go to the gym and I don't have time anymore. I really want to do something about it. |
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| Hm. |
[Oct. 22nd, 2009|05:05 pm] |
Do you ever get the feeling that everyone dislikes you, even though you didn't do anything out of the ordinary? Maybe you're just not that likeable of a person?
Do you ever feel like your life has no real purpose? Or that you're kind of alone? Or that you're REALLY dumb?
Does school ever make you REALLY bored?
Man, I don't want to go to work today. |
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| Halfway through pumpkin month |
[Oct. 16th, 2009|10:18 am] |
Four weeks of school down! Seven to go!
Really though, my classes are going well. Japanese is...fun and helpful but at the same time boring and repetitive. The best parts about the class are doing dialogues with people that can ACTUALLY understand and talk back when you deviate/elaborate on the scripted dialogue. Otherwise they just stare at you like you've grown another head and it's like 'Well, that's a lot of helpful practice >.> '
Illustration is fun, and I think I'll probably get a B in that class. Which is you know, alright. I have no aspirations to be more than a B student. It's above average. As long as my GPA never goes below a 3.0 I am a happy person!
Graphic design one is painfully boring. Although I'm pretty sure I awesome owned the exam we had in it the other day.
It's weird to not touch my DS for months and months and then when I get a game I want to play suddenly I'm using it all the time! I'm less than halfway through the new Kingdom Hearts game, and so far I really like it. The fact that the game play does not utilize the touch screen in the least bit is strange and slightly wasteful, but the controls are not too hard to get used to. The character development is pretty good, although I'm on the fence about how I feel about Xion. Roxas seems to have gotten a lot stupider and with a lot less personality or more like a 'zombie' as Axel puts it. But I have the feeling he'll continue to develop into a more solid person as the game goes along. Right now I honestly don't really like him. Hmmmm hmmmm I guess we'll see what happens. I am suffering from lack of Sora, but the small bits of interjected Riku help a little =D (MOAR RIKU KTHX) And also Saix is a huge evil jerk.
Also I hate the dining hall. But it is monies. >.> |
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| Mmmm, rambling |
[Oct. 2nd, 2009|10:24 am] |
October is here. Which partially makes me sad because that means it is now not only getting colder but already colder. I hate having cute shirts and outfits and having to wear a jacket over them all the time. Which, you know. Just means I need to go get a cute jacket!
Financial aid all came through and with a lot more money than I had anticipated. This basically means that the money from my job can go entirely to things I want rather than to anything else. Cons, cosplay, vacation fund, "me" stuff. And I will have enough money to get through the summer plus a vacation and cons, without having to get summer financial aid if I don't want to go to school...
Though speaking of which I am considering going on the Japan trip again this summer. I know I have already been, but it IS 7 upper division credits, and I could take the Art History portion this time around. I would be getting a loan for it as I would not be able to pay out of pocket this time. I am still considering it, though. I don't know.
School is going well, Japanses is really easy mostly because it's 101. My other classes are fun though my Illustration class makes me feel scared and inadequate. I question myself and wonder if I really am ever going to get any better, and I see no improvement in myself, and I don't find myself to be at an acceptable level right now. I don't know but I have little self confidence in my work. The other class is just flat out boring. But how exciting could tracing letters really be?
Work sucks and I hate working at the dining hall. I'm not only on my feet after a long day at school, but I'm running around the whole time. It's really hot and wet and I'm exhausted. A few times I've felt on the verge of passing out and my FEET HURT. Not just the normal wahhh feet hurt but the like 'My previously injured ankles are in SO MUCH PAIN.' I really don't think I am going to be able to work next quarter, since you have to work 6 hours minimum and I will be taking 18 credits. I'm just really tired every single day right now and all I want to do all weekend is sleep.
That's about it for now. I'm just sitting in the lab at school dreading having to work 2.5 hours today before I can go home and eat and sleep and clean and play video games. ^^ |
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| There is no reason. |
[Sep. 21st, 2009|02:11 pm] |
*SCREAMS*
Two days before school starts and no word from financial aid. They've only been sitting there with a green light for a MONTH and no award letter, no nothing. Hi, I can't buy school supplies, pay tuition, pay rent or FEED MYSELF until I get money from them. There is no reason on this Earth that would excuse them for taking this long to get this done. HATE AND RAGE.
In other news, the weather is nice and school and work are starting soon. I've only got 7.5 hours a week, three shifts, all putting away dishes. Working Tues/Thurs/Fri. Hoping to pick up one more shift to make ten hours at least. Not excited about working but excited about making money again!
School is gonna be fun I think. Japanese 101, which should be a lot of busy work but not that hard of work. Illustration with a teacher I really like, but I'm nervous that I won't do well in it because it's what I wanna do. Then Design 270 which I think is gonna be boring, but it's required so. Oh well.
I'm excited also to get healthy again! I've lost 50 pounds, and want to get back into exercising soon. I can almost wear that green dress. |
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| More rambling |
[Aug. 30th, 2009|01:08 pm] |
I'm glad that I feel better every single day. Logically, that is the way it should be, but it still makes you glad to see it. And the thought that I will feel even better tomorrow. It's nice.
The gas is gone and my stomach doesn't gurgle as much. I'm slowly graduating to eating more regular foods and eating a little bit more food in general. My appetite is only so-so but I think part of that is fear and part of it is just not feeling that well in the first place. Not much sounds appealing.
I'm finally breathing deeply again, I really didn't like that. It was hard to breathe fully and deeply for a while, especially without pain. Any sort of cough or sneeze still kinda hurts. The things that still hurt a little are my bellybutton (only when in the process of standing or sitting or walking though) and the sort of general area that the thing was removed, along with my stomach once in a while. Some people say they get 'phantom pains' after it's gone, which I can understand. After you've gone so long knowing it will hurt, you've almost convinced yourself it does, even if it doesn't.
My back hurts all the time and I'm still trying to understand this. >.> Not taking any of the prescribed pain meds because I don't really think I need them. That's just how I am, though.
I think I'll be in pretty good shape for KumoriCon. It's four days away still, that's a lot of time! |
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| Recovery time! |
[Aug. 28th, 2009|03:51 pm] |
I got home yesterday, and last night was kind of difficult and painful for me. I have to really pay attention to trying to eat now because I'm not getting hydration and nutrients through the IV. My stomach grumbles a LOT but it's hard to tell if I'm hungry or it's just doing it's thing.
I'm not in too much pain, and I finally got to take a shower. Pulled the bandaids off but looking at wounds make me dizzy so that's been a slow icky process. I'm mostly just sleeping or sitting here, really.
I'm hearing good things about life without your gallbladder, though. That you can go back to being completely normal, that maybe you pee a little more often, but that's kinda it. I really hope that the recovery is really fast, because I'm really tired of not feeling well. I get scared every time I feel like my stomach might hurt, but I try to remind myself that I am still recovering and this is probably really normal and it's just gas or hunger or something. |
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